Stan's Heel Turn
by raidpirate52
Summary: What would it be like if after Stan gets out of his cynicism, he turns into complete jerk? Set right after "You're Getting Old".
1. Cynical No More

**Chapter 1: Cynical No More**

_Shit. Nothing but shit. I'm sleeping on a shitty bed, on shitty pillow, in shitty covers. _Waking up from his fourth shitty dream of the night, Stan Marsh decided not to fall back to sleep or get out of bed until his shitty alarm clock went off. He moaned at the start of a new shitty day, put on the same shitty clothes, and went downstairs.

"Good morning, sweetie." Sharon greeted. Stan didn't respond. "What would you like for breakfast?"

"What difference does it make? Everything tastes like shit." Stan replied.

Sharon sighed. "Honestly, Stanley, I'm getting really annoyed and tired of your pessimistic attitude."

"Whatever."

"What's wrong? Seriously, why is everything lame to you?"

"It just is. Nothing is good anymore, it's all just crap."

Sharon shook her head. "Well, I'm making scrambled eggs and toast. Hope that pleases you enough for the day."

"I doubt it."

Stan barely ate half his plate before heading off to school. He didn't say a word, just hung his head low, and walked out the door. Sharon made a deep sigh and picked up the phone.

"Dr. Severus, I'm willing to take the risks. I want to do it for my son." She said.

In Mr. Garrison's class at South Park Elementary School, Stan's former friends: Eric Cartman, Kyle Broflovski, and Kenny McCormick, were talking amongst themselves.

"And then after you defeat that annoying dragon, you just get a mushroom guy saying: 'our princess is in another castle' I swear, it's fucking annoying." Cartman was talking about the video game he was playing with Kyle the other night.

"Sounds like a good game though," Kenny replied.

"It is, but there are so many hard parts in the game, like" Kyle said before realizing who was coming in the room. It was Stan. Stan didn't make any contact to the trio and just sat right in his desk and looked out the window, making no contact to anyone.

Eric broke the silence. "So…about the Miami Heat." At that moment, Mr. Garrison walked into the room to being the class.

"Alright, everyone, get in your seats. I hope you all had a wonderful weekend. We'll start off the week by doing the usual show and tell. Who would like to go first?" Several students raised their hands. "Alright…okay you, Butters."

Butters show and tell was a tan sweater with stitches. Stan mostly kept his attention out the window, but had one quick glance at the boy's sweater. It was the shittiest sweater he ever saw.

"My grandmother knitted me this sweater. It has love in every stitch." Butters explained.

"Very nice, Butters, you get a hundred for show and tell this week, who would like to go next?" Mr. Garrison asked. "Annie, you're up."

"For show and tell today, I brought my grandpa's old Beatles album. It's signed by all four Beatles members." Annie showed the class the album.

"Cool," the class (minus Stan) awed. Stan just kept his attention away from the class.

"That's really special, Annie, you earn a hundred. Be careful not to lose it. Who's next?" Mr. Garrison looked at the room and caught Stan not paying attention. "Stan, come on up here." Stan didn't react to the call.

"He didn't do anything last week. He just sat there and did nothing." Kyle whispered to Eric.

"Stan, show and tell is mandatory, get up here and present now." Mr. Garrison ordered. Stan turned his head to the teacher's desk and got out of his seat slowly. "Faster now, I don't want this to take all morning. Do you have anything?"

"Why do we do this every week?" Stan asked.

"Oh, wow, look everyone, he speaks." Mr. Garrison said.

"Every week, we watch kids bring shitty thing after shitty thing." Stan replied.

"Watch your mouth, young man; you know what the rules are about cursing. Your mother would not be proud."

"I'm sick of this class, I'm sick of this school, this town, these classmates…"

"You know what, why don't you just tell me what grade you want?"

"If I see one more…"

"Alright, one. You get a one. Now go sit back down."

"A one!" Stan yelled. "That's not what I wanted!"

"You said: one. You got a one. Now return to your desk and be a good boy."

Stan shook his head and returned to his desk, walking past a bunch of snickering classmates. At recess, it had been the same as last week. The boys would play football in the field, and Stan would sit by the steps watching everyone play their shitty games. Suddenly, Mr. Mackey came up to Stan.

"Stan, you're mother is here to pick you up, m'kay?" the skinny man reported. Stan gathered his stuff and met his mom in the office to sign him out.

"Where are we going, mom?" the boy asked.

"I'll explain everything in the car." Sharon replied. Sharon drove off the school lot then began telling Stan about where they were going. "There's a clinic down in Denver. They may have a cure for your cynicism problem."

"Really? I hope it works. You don't know what it's like seeing everything as shit."

They arrived at Clinic Malcolm in the middle of Denver at around noon time. They had to wait in the lobby for some time.

"This place is shit. How come I haven't been called up yet, there's only like, two other people here?" Stan moaned.

"Relax, Stanley, it's only been 45 minutes." Sharon said.

"Stanley Marsh!" a nurse shouted.

Stan got out of his seat and went into a room, looking like any ordinary doctor's room. He sat on the bed to wait for the doctor to come in. A few moments later, the doctor came in.

"Hello, Stan, my name is Dr. Severus. Your mom has been telling me that you suffer from being a 'cynical asshole'." Dr. Severus said.

"Yeah, ever since I turned 10, everything around me just turned to shit." Stan explained.

"Uh huh, well hopefully at the end of your rest, you'll be able to get past your shit senses. Now, I'm just going to have to ask you to drink this potion." The doctor handed him a cup filled with liquid that Stan drank and within a moment, went unconscious. "Let's just hope he's our first survivor."

"Your brochure said 75 percent effective, nothing about being lethal." Sharon gasped.

"You actually read that thing?"

* * *

><p>AN: Well, I wanted this to be longer, but I fear my laptop may be near its end so I need to get this up quick because believe it or not, but my battery is also a pain right now, so I'll have the first chapter end on this sort of cliché, unsuspensful, obvious cliffhanger. I sort of made this chapter a bit silly at times, adding a bunch of references (good luck (sort of) catching them.

I'm working on chapter 2 right now, hopefully it will be up soon and my laptop hinge break is a minor threat. Hope you stick around, and trust me it gets a lot better.


	2. Just a Jerk

A/N: Here's chapter two. I spent pretty much all of tonight writing most of this. I hope you're entertained, and if you're easily offended, I suggest you find a new fic.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 2: Just a Jerk <strong>

Stan woke up. Looking around the small room, he couldn't remember anything. His memory needed minutes to catch up to him. At that moment, Sharon came into the room and hugged her son.

"Stanley, are you okay?" Sharon asked.

"Yeah, I believe so." Stan replied.

"Here, I want you to try listening to this." Sharon said, putting head phones in Stan's ear and pressing play on his ipod.

"Wow, it doesn't sound like shit anymore. I love you, mom!" Stan cheered. Sharon gave him another hug.

"Well it looks like you lived." Severus said, walking in.

"Uh, what?" Stan asked.

"Nothing, sweetie, I'm just glad you're alright." Sharon replied, giving him another hug.

"What is that dickhead talking about?"

"Stanley!"

"Don't get too alarmed, Mrs. Marsh, you're going to have to get used to that." Severus said.

"What are you talking about?" Sharon asked.

"Well, your son had the problem of being a "cynical asshole". We cured him from being cynical, and now he's just a plain asshole. I'm afraid to say there really is no cure for that. He's going to have a different behavior than he has before." Severus explained.

"He didn't snap at me though."

"You're his mother; all boys are nice to their mommies."

"Oh dear, what am I going to do?"

"Can we just go home?" Stan asked.

Back at the house, the mother and son were talking in the living room.

"Okay, Stanley, mommy has to go to work. Now please, don't go anywhere, and for the love of God, don't get into any trouble." Sharon pleaded.

"You don't have to worry about me, mom. I'll be okay." Stan assured. With that, Sharon immediately went off to work, leaving Stan by himself."Well she said not go '_anywhere_', I'm just going to have a quick visit to my school." Stan laughed manically.

The final bell has rung at South Park Elementary School which followed a sound of cheering children as they poured out after a long and dreadful Monday.

"Damn, today sucked." Cartman whined.

"Tell me about it." Kyle agreed.

"The minute hand was just as slow as a snail." Butters commented.

"Hey, guys, look!" Kenny pointed to Stan, who had a recently rare smile on his face.

"Guess what you guys! I don't think everything is shit anymore." Stan announced.

"Really?" Tweek asked.

"Yeah." Stan replied. "Look, guys, I'm sorry if everything in the last few weeks got on your nerves. I can just say those days are behind me and I hope I can get along with all of you again."

"We'd like that too, Stan." Kyle replied.

"You know, Kyle, there's another thing I want to tell all of you about." Stan said.

"What is it?" Kyle asked, leaning forward.

Out of nowhere, Stan delivers a left hook to Kyle's jaw. Kyle was immediately knocked out. Everyone looked on with shock and disgust.

"I want you all to be on my YouTube channel for a live stream. 7:00. don't miss it, you've been warned." Stan glared then walked away. Several moments of awkward silence go by.

"What just happened?" Butters asked.

"What…an asshole." Craig said, after a few more seconds of awkward silence. A small Canadian kindergartner rubbed Kyle's head a few times.

"Kyle, what's wrong?" Ike asked. "It's time to go home." Ike put Kyle's arm around him for comfort, but the Jew boy was still unconscious.

At Kyle's house, Kyle woke up on his couch with several of his friends in the room with him.

"Are you okay, Kyle?" Cartman asked. "You've been out for hours."

"When we walked out of the school today, Stan knocked you out." Kenny said, catching Kyle up with the details.

"We'd all go over and kick his head in, but we don't know where he moved to." Clyde said.

"Did he say anything?" Kyle asked, slowly.

"Just to watch a stupid stream on his YouTube tonight." Token answered.

"Should we watch it?" Butters asked.

Sheila Broflovski walks in the room, and sees her son finally awake.

"Kyle!" she gasped. "You're awake. I'm so glad you're alright. Don't worry, you don't have a broken jaw or shattered teeth. I'm so relieved."

"Yeah, mom, I'm alright." Kyle replied.

Sheila sighed. "I hope Sharon calls me soon, because I don't have her new number. Trust me, though, she's going to know what her son did. Why did he do this to you, Kyle? You two were best friends!"

"I know Mom, please, let me handle this." Kyle pleaded. "I know I can resolve this on my own, please!"

"Well, you are growing up; I guess this is an issue that's best resolved between the two of you." Sheila agreed.

"Thanks, mom!" Kyle replied. Sheila then left the room. "What time is it?"

"6:57." Craig answered.

"Quick, upstairs, we'll use my computer." Kyle said. All the boys went upstairs.

Over at Stan's house, he was getting ready for his live stream, going on in just a few minutes.

"I better start this thing because there are always these annoying ads that I have to sit through before it starts." Stan moaned to himself.

_Tired of gay tolerance being shoved down your throat? Do you just want to say they're totally abnormal and shouldn't hold the same marital status as you? Well, what better way to do all that than joining a CULT? That's right…the Build Intolerance on Gay Orientation Today! Here you get to join our members and talk about how much we think heterosexuality is the way to go, and nothing else matters. At the end of each month, we send pamphlets to the parents to teach to their children the cruelty of homosexuality. That's the: Build Intolerance on Gay Orientation Today! Sign up now._

"Alright, now let's get this started." Stan muttered. The screen turned black again and began a new ad. "Oh, come on!"

_We're Tonka Chocolate Factory, bringing you a brand new candy bar! It's the Kissanass bar! Full of all your favorite's: chocolate, sugar, and brand new ingredient: mightyoxane. When you eat our new Kissanass bar, the mightyoxane goes to your brain, giving you messages to make you happy. However, wait a long time and the mightyoxane goes away, and makes you drowsy…until you have some more! So go out and buy a Kissanass bar right now! _

Finally, Stan was on his live stream.

"I hope you're all here. To avoid distractions, I disabled the comments." Stan said. "You're all wondering why I did what I did to Kyle. To start things off, I did what I had to do. I needed to get something to make you all want to come here. I didn't want to hit Kyle, that's the truth, but it was the way to get you all here."

"He could've just asked us to come here before." Clyde said in Kyle's room.

"He can't hear you." Butters pointed out. Clyde rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I didn't want to do what I did to Kyle, but I'm glad that I did it." Stan said. "You see, for years now people have been going 'Did you see Kyle go and save Family Guy'; and 'my dad played guitar hero in his underwear'; 'Craig and Tweek had an epic fight'; 'Clyde had lice this week'; 'Kenny is so badass as Mysterion'; 'Cartman sung his own version of Pokerface'; 'Kenny and Cartman joined to save whales, that's funny'; 'Cartman made a kid eat his own parents'. I can go on and on about all this and you know what? People never talk about ME! Now people are beginning to talk about me. It's too bad for all of you it took to this extreme measure, but maybe all the buildup of frustration on everybody ignoring me and looking at me like I'm a waste of time is what caused me to be cynical. Now for the important part. Your lives tomorrow are going to be nothing but misery, because I'm now running the school. I call the shots now. Just keep telling yourselves this because it's the truth: the worst has yet to come." Stan shouted through just about the entire video. The noise caught Sharon's attention and she walked in the room, interrupting the stream.

"Stanley, is everything alright? I heard screaming." Sharon asked.

"Oh, yeah mom. Everything is okay." Stan said, turning the stream off.

"What the fuck?" Craig asked.

"He…has…issues." Kenny said. "Whoever knew?"

"What do you think he meant by him 'running the school'?" Cartman asked Kyle.

"Just an immature, pathetic threat." Kyle replied. "I mean, Stan running the school? Come on, there's no way he can possibly do that.

The next morning….

South Park Elementary School had its sign edited to Stan's Domain. The school yard had a statue of Stan, and the flag of the South Park Cows was replaced by the flag used when Stan was volunteering on Whale Wars.

"Son of a bitch." Kyle muttered.

* * *

><p>AN: Hope you're all enjoying. Yeah, I know, it's all of kind of crazy, especially with Stan about to rule a school. I just think this way it goes with the extreme of South Park levels, and this is a better way to go with the story. Hope you read on more.


	3. Stan Rules

**Chapter 3: Stan Rules**

Inside South Park Elementary, the lights were dimmed, the posters were all taken down, the desk and chairs were replaced with chairs that had desks connected to them, the classrooms were all blank, and there weren't any teachers or staff anywhere in the school.

"What's going on here?" Kyle asked his classmates.

"Couldn't you tell? Stan took over the entire school. I'm getting real sick of him," Wendy said.

"Yeah, but, where are all the teachers?"

"Who knows," Bebe shrugged.

The morning bell rung and Stan voiced over the school's intercom.

"Hope you've all had a good Tuesday morning because you aren't going to be feeling any better for the rest of the day. You all made me feel out of place, so now it's time you all get what's coming to you. First of all, everyone must be in their classes by 8:00 sharp, the doors and windows will automatically lock, and you may not leave to go anywhere. Lunch will be cut short to three minutes a day and you can only drink from the water fountain." Stan announced.

"Awww," the students moaned.

"Also, there will be no recess. Today, there will be no lessons. Instead, you will all be given writing assignments throughout the day. Right now, you will all write a 1000 word essay on why I, Stan Marsh, is the greatest boy you ever known at South Park Elementary, oh wait, scratch that, at Stan's Domain! I put mail slots in each classroom door, so when you're done, slide them through there. You have one hour starting now. Then after, you can all write 'Stan is awesome' over and over until I say so."

One hour later Stan went through the halls to collect the students first assignment then returned to his office to read them. Unsurprisingly, the children didn't do exactly what they were told. Wendy Testaberger wrote:

_You know what? You're nothing but a selfish prick who I can't even believe I gave second chance to. Guess what? I'm through with you forever, you heartless bastard!_

"What the hell?" Stan glared, looking at more people's papers. Craig Tucker wrote:

_Fuck you Stan. Fuck you. _

Craig also included a drawing of a hand, with the middle finger sticking up. Next, he what some of his former friends wrote. Cartman wrote:

_Stan, you're a more than just a pussy now. Now you're a pussy flaming homo dick! So help you God if I get my hands on you! _

Kenny wrote:

_We were friends? I'm shaking my head just thinking about it. All the times we had together, lost! You truly disgust me! No hot woman will fuck you, asshole! _

Kyle wrote:

_Dude, we get it. You felt ignored. You felt like you were at the end of the spotlight, and you get your way by pulling this shit? You've lost literally all your friends, Stan, including me. You will continue to feel miserable; you're being a whiny bitch about all of this. Not to mention, you're also a coward. Locking us all in here? I do admit, I expected you to be more of a man than that. Guess I really don't know you. _

Stan crumpled up all the papers and slammed them into the trash; he snagged the intercom to yell at the students.

"Are you all shitting me? If you think you're going to get away with that, you're sadly mistaking. If you don't do as I say, you're all going to be kept here until you do. Now, the write 'Stan is awesome' will be going on for several more hours. I better not see any funny business." Stan yelled, slamming the intercom back on the desk. Around noon time Stan had something else to say. "Kyle Broflovski to my office. Kyle Broflovski to my office, immediately!"

"What do you think he wants with you?" Butters asked.

"Should we follow you?" Clyde asked.

"I don't know," Kyle replied.

"Yeah, let's all go over and kick Stan's ass," Cartman shouted.

"Yeah!" the classmates cheered.

The door to Kyle's room buzzed for Kyle to exit the classroom, Kyle first opened the door, followed by a charge by everyone. Once Kyle stepped outside to the hallway, the door instantly shut. The 4th graders crashed into the door and fell to the floor.

"Ow, my head," Token cried.

"How are we going to get out?" Butters asked, rubbing his head.

"Maybe we can wait for him to get back," Cartman said.

"I'm not taking that chance," Bebe said.

Kyle walked up to the door of Stan's office. Stan buzzed Kyle to go into the room.

"What do you want?" the Jew boy asked. "Did you call me in here to whine about the times I had something happen to me? Or are you going to cheap shot me again?"

"Nope," Stan replied. A few moments went by where no one said anything.

"How did you get rid of all the teachers?" Kyle asked.

"Simple, really, I just called the police and told them they all molested me. Now I rule the school, which you and everyone else will refer to as 'Stan's Domain'," Stan laughed. Kyle rolled his eyes. "Anyway, I thought you should know that your little brother couldn't handle the work I gave all of you, and the little thing is on its way to the hospital."

Kyle snarled and made a fist. He rushed towards Stan's desk to attack him, but Stan pulled something out of his pocket and shot at Kyle. Kyle got electrocuted and fell to the floor, shaking.

"You like the taser, Kyle? I said the arresting officer also molested me, so I got all his stuff," Stan said. "I know you want to fight me, Kyle, and of course I'll accept. It will get more people to talk more about me! After school, meet me on the playground, and I'll have a contract to make the fight official. You know, so you don't plan to sue me after I kick your ass!" Stan picked Kyle up and shoved him out into the hallway. "Now get back to class." Stan slammed the door shut.

When he was able to regain his feelings for his legs, Kyle made his way back to the class. Everyone else was back at their desks, doing the assignment.

"So, what went on in there?" Kenny asked. "Did you get the chance to kick his ass?"

"No, but I'll get the chance too later on. He challenged me to a fight, I hope to kick his head in, and then get the Stan back we used to love," Kyle said.

"Or we could just kill him now," Cartman suggested.

"Dude!" Kyle shouted.

"What? There's no way we'll be able to get Stan back to normal, why do we have to suffer?"

"If we can get Stan back to the way he was, wouldn't that be the best solution?"

"Kyle's right, fat ass, if Stan returns to normal after a good ass kicking, then that's the best scenario there is," Kenny said.

"I would like Stan as a friend back too," Butters agreed. "Better than what he is now, and certainly better than not having him at all."

"Yeah," the classmates agreed.

"Pfft, whatever," Cartman sighed.

At the end of the day, Kyle and his classmates all waited on the playground for Stan to show up. It took a few minutes, but sure enough, Stan did arrive with a clipboard.

"Kyle, I hold in my hand the contract to the fight that we will have tomorrow, immediately after school. You sure you want to put yourself through this?" Stan asked.

"Yesterday, you knocked me out. Your labor put my little brother in the hospital. You're putting everyone's childhood in misery. When I'm finished, you will be the regular Stan we used to know because trust me, I'm not going to stop until you are back to normal." Kyle grabbed the clipboard and signed his name.

Stan giggled. "Still haven't learned your lesson, have you Kyle?" Stan took the contract away from Kyle. "As always, you don't read before you sign. Want to know the things you foolishly missed? It says in the contract that when you lose: all school lunches will only be veggie bars and there will be a new pledge of allegiance that all students will recite every morning, which goes like this:

I pledge allegiance, to mighty Stan,

Who turned this dump to a better place,

And to him, I will serve,

One school, under Stan,

Incredible, and most popular than all!"

Everyone just awkwardly starred at Stan.

"Couldn't you just do that anyway?" Clyde asked. Everyone glared at him.

"I could, Clyde. I could. However, this way I'm giving Kyle a shot here. If he wins, then nothing what I said happens, if I win then it does. Pressure is all on Kyle!"

"That's really gay," Craig said.

"Well, Craig, you better hope by some miracle Kyle does what he wants," Stan replied. "Are you all forgetting that I am the most athletic and strongest kid in this school? I was the star on all the sports that I played, I was the one who carried more veal than anyone back to my house, I carried the most gadgets than any of you when we were playing Coon and Friends. You see that jungle gym, Kyle? That's the jungle gym where I'm going to shove you into over and over. Your bitch of a mom won't even recognize you." Kyle glared and clenched his teeth and fist. "I will pound you until you end up in a bed, in the hospital, right next to your weak, pathetic failure, you call a brother!"

POW!

Kyle couldn't take it anymore; he punched Stan right in the mouth, knocking him down. Everybody behind him cheered. Kyle followed up by kicking Stan in the rear as he was getting up. Stan fled as fast as he could. Stan felt his lip, which was bleeding, and looked back up at Kyle, who didn't chase him.

"Tomorrow, Stan, tomorrow," Kyle mumbled.

"You're going to pay for that cheap shot, Kyle!" Stan cried across the yard, making his way towards home.

Kyle stayed with everybody else on the playground.

"Don't worry, you'll get him tomorrow," Kenny said, patting Kyle on the back.

"Kick his ass hard tomorrow," Cartman added.

Kyle was barely listening; he just starred in the direction of the way Stan left.

* * *

><p>AN: I wrote this on a Saturday night. XD. I hope you're enjoying this, because I'm having a lot of fun writing it, using pretty much all imagination in this. I really hope to get opportunities to write more of this. I started college, so there can be days where I got a lot of work to do and be too tired to write fanfiction, and also maybe looking for a job. I hope to write another chapter soon.


	4. Stan vs Kyle

**Chapter 4: Stan vs. Kyle**

At Hell's Pass Hospital, Gerald and Sheila were in Ike's room, giving support to their five year old adopted Canadian son. Ike was unconscious from the hard work he was put through from Stan.

"Do you think he'll be alright, doctor?" Sheila asked.

"Don't worry, Mrs. Broflovski, with a few days rest, he'll be out of here in no time. It is best if we keep him here, though, make sure things don't get worse," the doctor said.

"Oh dear God!" Sheila gasped. Gerald rubbed her back.

"You heard the doctor, honey, he'll be fine," Gerald said. At that time, their ten year old son, Kyle, walked into the room.

"Mom, Dad, how is Ike doing?" he asked.

"The doctor said he'll be fine after a few days rest. I should've known we sent him to school too young," Sheila said.

"It wasn't your fault," Gerald replied.

"No, it wasn't your fault. You see, Stan took over the school, and he made us do all this writing and that's what made Ike lose conscious," Kyle explained.

"Oh bube, I don't have time for one of your ridiculous games, we need to make sure Ike gets a fast recovery," Sheila said.

"No, mom you don't understand, Stan wants"

"Kyle, why don't you head home and look after the house? Your mother is right, we can't be playing this," Gerald said.

"Gah!" Kyle yelled in annoyance.

At the Marsh home, Stan finally came home. Stan's mouth was still bleeding, so Stan used his hand to clot. Sharon walked in the living room.

"Hey, Stan how was school today?" she asked.

"It was alright, I guess," Stan muffled.

"What? I can't hear you, sweetie."

"I have to go upstairs!" Stan muffled again and ran as fast as he could up the stairs and to the bathroom. There, he found out he had a fat lip. He hissed "Kyle is going to get it tomorrow, the worst has yet to come." Through the night, Stan hid his injury from Sharon; mostly by staying in his room and claiming he wasn't hungry to eat dinner. It went quickly, and before he knew it, it was the day of the fight. Stan said he would eat breakfast at school, to explain himself for leaving early. Stan made it to his domain before anyone else got there and locked himself in his office to prepare for the day.

Students arrived in their classrooms on time and at 8:00 sharp; the doors were closed and locked automatically. Stan got on the intercom to address everyone about this afternoon.

"Students, this afternoon, as most of you probably all know thanks to shitty Facebook, I will be fighting my former best friend, Kyle, outside on the playground. Anyone is free to watch, but fair warning, if any of you interfere, there will be dire consequences." Stan reported.

In what was Mr. Garrison's fourth grade class, Kyle slide in his desk, annoyed.

"But before all of that happens, I want to give all of you a little knowledge on Kyle. Did you all know that Kyle used to sleep with a 'bwankey'?" Stan shouted while putting a picture of toddler Kyle on the school's video screens. The school laughed. Kyle looked at the screen, embarrassed. "Anybody want to know what Kyle used to be most scared of? When he was four he was petrified of the Teletubbies." Everyone laughed harder. "Here's a video of Kyle's first steps." The video played of little Kyle trying to walk. He was holding onto a coffee table and then took a few steps then collapsed over. Then, barfed over Sheila. The children were howling with laughter at this point.

"Man, that is some fucked up stuff, Jewboy," Cartman laughed.

Kyle was livid. His face was red in anger, he pulled something out of his desk and yelled into it. "Alright, Stan, that is enough!" The class gasped. Stan was shocked.

"Where did you get that extra mic, Kyle?" Stan asked.

"Well, next time, Stan, don't leave your toys lying around," Kyle replied. "You want to taunt me with some immature dirt you dug up on me? Well, how about I share about stuff I know about you?"

Stan's eyes grew out of fear at this point. "No, no, no, Kyle, that won't be necessary. Just stop talking and we'll"

"You think it's funny that I threw up on my mom? You throw up on every girl that gets near you." The school laughed again, but this time at Stan. "The first time we had a sleep over at my house, you cried for your mom to come pick you up! Well, I guess it wasn't that bad, if we compare it to the very first day of preschool. You remember how that went Stan?"

"Don't you even think about it, Kyle! I'm warning you!" Stan yelled.

"You had separation anxiety and cried so badly that you ended up soiling yourself."

The whole school was laughing so hard at this point that Stan can hear it from his office. Kyle couldn't come up to say anything anymore, he too even started laughing the moment he finished his last sentence.

"Good one, dude!" Kenny said while laughing.

"Shut up! Quiet! Shut the fuck up! All of you! Shut it! Shut it!" Stan screamed as loud as he could. This was ineffective. "You don't understand! I was only three days potty trained…just stop laughing! You know what Kyle? You just made everything worse for yourself, and fuck this afternoon! Get on the playground right now!"

The students cheered and made their way outside, looking for a good place to watch the fight. Kyle was the first one of the two boys to come out and the whole school chanted: "Kyle! Kyle! Kyle! Kyle!" Kyle made it to where the boys usually play football at recess.

"Wow, I can't wait to watch this thing," Craig said.

"Hope you kick his ass, Kyle," Token added.

"Think you'll make him bleed?" Butters asked in enjoyment.

Stan came out of the school next to a shower of boos and taunts.

"Want a diaper, Marsh?" taunted a fifth grader.

"I'll keep my distance, don't want you throwing up on me," said a fifth grade girl.

Stan stopped right in front of Kyle.

"You're going down, Kyle," Stan mumbled.

"When we're done, your reign over this school will be over and you will go back to being the Stan before all of this," Kyle stated.

Stan responded by punching Kyle in the chin, followed by a right hook, knocking Kyle down. The children started to cheer on the fight.

"How does that feel, Kyle?" Stan mocked. Stan continued his taunting by knocking Kyle's hat off and stomping it on the ground. "What do you think of that? What are you going to do?"

Kyle kicked Stan in the gut, and sends his head into the top teeter totter. Stan was dazed, giving Kyle the time to push Stan onto one of the seats. Kyle got onto it, and jumped on the other side, sending Stan flying a few feet above the ground and landing a few feet away. Stan shook it off and saw Kyle approaching him; he gets up and tackles him.

Stan was on top of Kyle, shoving his head into the dirt of the playground. Kyle struggled and put his arms up to nudged Stan's face.

"Come on, Kyle!" Kenny shouted.

"You can do it, Jew!" Cartman echoed.

Kyle was able to turn things around, and now it was Kyle who was on top of Stan. Stan got out quickly by punching Kyle in the face. Stan then shoves Kyle into the sandbox. Kyle responded by taking a handful of sand and threw it in Stan's eyes. Stan screamed in pain and rubbed his eyes while Kyle grabbed Stan's arm.

"Over here!" Wendy yelled by the merry go round.

Kyle smirked and tossed Stan into the merry go round where a group of kids were waiting. Once Stan was in place the kids started running around, spinning the merry go round and made Stan dizzy. After a few moments they stopped and Stan crawled out, queasy as evident by his green face. Stan eventually puked on the ground.

"Eww," shouted the other children.

Kyle kicked Stan in the head, knocking him down. Kyle grabbed Stan by the arm once again and whipped him into the jungle gym. Stan's back crashed into the metal bars as he looked on at Kyle charging him. Right before Kyle rammed him into the jungle gym harder; Stan leaped on the bars and climbed a few feet up while Kyle crashed into the bars. Stan jumped back to the ground and repeatedly hit Kyle into the bars over and over.

"I told you that was what I was going to do," Stan shouted down at Kyle.

"Get up, Kyle!" Clyde yelled.

Stan dragged Kyle over the playground. Suddenly, Kyle got back up and punched Stan in the face. Stan retaliated with a few punches of his own. The punches led the two to the spring riding toys, where Stan tripped over a horse. Kyle sat on Stan and began riding the horse. Stan would have his head bounce off the ground every time the horse backed up.

"Ow. Hey, Ky-Ow! Ow!" Stan yelled. The boy is able to squirm his way out and then run from Kyle.

"What's he doing?" Tweek asked.

"He's trying to get away! Hey, stop him!" Cartman yelled.

Stan was trying to climb the fence to the yard but was grabbed by Kenny and pulled back down. Afterwards, a group of kids pulled him up and shoved him back towards the fight.

Stan spat in Kyle's face. Kyle shut his eyes for a moment, and covered his face, when he opened them Stan was running at him. Kyle had no time to react as Stan gave him a vicious clothesline. Kyle was laid out on the ground. Stan went over to a bucket and placed it on Kyle's head. Stan then laid Kyle out on a table, and tied him to it using a jump rope from the ground. The table was a few feet from the jungle gym, giving Stan an idea.

Stan climbed up the jungle gym, walked across the top and jumped off. He landed on Kyle, breaking the table in two. The two boys weren't moving after the impact. The rest of the students looked on.

Eventually, after about ten seconds, Stan got up, holding his stomach. Kyle, on the other hand wasn't moving. At this point, Stan knew he was victorious. He gave a small diabolical laugh.

"You all know what this means!" Stan shouted. "New pledge, new veggie bars. You all are going to praise me! Now, get back into class, you are all going to write how awesome it was that I just kicked Kyle's ass."

"What makes you think we're all going to go back to class?" Clyde asked.

"What else are you going to do, Clyde? You can't leave or your parents will find out you're missing school. Now get back to class all of you, and you guys take Kyle back to the room. When he wakes up, tell him he can write a 2000 word essay on why he should never mess with me again." Stan left the playground and went back into his office while the other children moaned and returned to their rooms.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: Well there you have it, looks like the story will continue. I hope you enjoyed the fighting sequence; I tried my best with it. Will Kyle be okay? Will Stan's asshole condition worsen? Stay tuned! I'll do my best to upload a new chapter every weekend.

I want to give some credit to Madam RedRose25, I used the sleepover idea Kyle said from her Tales of Toddlerhood story. I recommend you read her South Park fics, they're extremely well done.


	5. From Bad to Worse

**Chapter 5: From Bad to Worse**

It's been exactly a week since Stan beat Kyle in a brawl on the playground. Kyle didn't need any doctor attention and was able to heal over night and return to Stan's Domain. Saying things went from bad to worse is an understatement. Stan removed the desks, so now everyone was just sitting in chairs. They were forced to write on their laps. Their work was nothing but redundant, always writing essays why Stan is the best. Another Wednesday morning was getting under way.

"…most popular than all," Stan shouted in the intercom, leading his new pledge.

"…and most popular than all," repeated the students hesitantly.

"Man, I fucking hate doing that," Cartman spat.

"You can now all get started on your first art project. Draw a self portrait of yourself, and then draw me next to you, telling you what to do," Stan ordered.

"I want to shut that pussy up so much," Cartman mumbled.

"Didn't you send a request to see him?" Kenny asked.

"Yeah, about a week ago after he beat up Kyle. I haven't heard back from him since then," Cartman replied. "I just really want to beat the living shit out of him."

"Cartman, come to the office," Stan shouted. "Cartman, to the office."

"About fucking time."

Cartman stomped down to the office, ready to kick ass. Stan buzzed the fat boy in right away.

"Stan, what the fuck took you so long to respond to my message?" Cartman yelled.

"Do you have any idea how many requests I get a day to see people?" Stan replied.

"I don't know. You never called anyone else down since Kyle last week."

"I don't approve any of them, but I would love to hear what you have to say." Stan turns on the intercom. "What is it you want to talk about?"

"Why did you turn that on?"

"Who cares, just tell us why you're here."

"I hate what you turned this place into. You're making everyone feel uncomfortable; you're an egomaniac, writing sucks, and I HATE veggie bars!" The school cheered.

"You're calling _me_ an egomaniac?"

"Your stupid anthem, your gay assignments, you beat Kyle, and you're a total pain! I want a fight with you, Stan Marsh!"

"No, it has nothing with any of that. The only reason you're here is because _your _ego is bruised."

"What?" Cartman looked in shock.

"Yeah, you're just jealous that I achieved everything you dreamed of. You look at me as you. I got the power, I rule people, everything I say goes. It's what you always wanted, and now that I have it and you don't, and got to where I am ten billion times faster than you, you're trying to manipulate into being the good guy. It's not going to work. You're still a racist fat ass that has no idea what he's saying."

"That's not true; I care for this school deeply."

Stan shook his head.

"So what's it going to be, Marsh? You accept my challenge?" Cartman glared.

Stan waited a moment before answering. "No." The school started to boo. "You know why? You're not worth the half second it will take for me to beat you."

"What the fuck did you say to me?" Cartman yelled.

"You're not worth the half second it will take for me to beat you. Let's take a look at some history. Every time Kyle taps you, you cry. You couldn't go two minutes in a fight against Wendy. Now, let's see, I beat Kyle last week, and I sure as hell am stronger than Wendy."

The fourth grade class all gasped and looked at Wendy.

"Well, he is. It's not like you have to be that strong to beat up Cartman." Wendy shrugged.

"She's right." Kyle nodded.

"And not to mention, you couldn't even get past Kenny at the Wal-Mart." Stan finished.

Cartman lunged forward, but Stan was ready to punch him between the eyes and knock Cartman out. The fat boy had no control for himself for several minutes, but by the time he was able to gain self control; he was out of Stan's office.

"God damn it," Cartman kicked the ground.

Back in the fourth grade class, everyone was trying to get an idea of how the hell to bring down Stan.

"We got to know where he leaves, that way we can take him down." Craig suggested.

"He leaves before the locks give out." Kyle said.

"Well, what if the next time someone visits him we put a block at the door, so we can all escape again." Token said.

"Impossible, he buzzes people into the office."

"You think you can talk to him, Wendy?" Butters asked.

"No, he hasn't made any contact to me in months." Wendy replied.

"We really do need to come up with something, I think Stan is getting worse and worse by the minute." Kyle said.

"What makes you think that?" Tweek asked.

The door busted open. Standing at the door was Stan, glaring and breathing heavily.

"You guys are not doing your work," Stan said.

"Yeah…" Bebe replied, a bit scared.

"You're supposed to be doing work, about me. I deserve to be recognized more." Stan shouted.

"Dude, what are you talking about? We've been forced to write and talk about you for the last week and a half." Kyle yelled.

"But how will I know if you stop talking about me? No, that can't happen. I need to do something that will get you all to talk about me forever. I know exactly what to do." Stan was pacing around the room, talking to and away from the other kids. He then pulled out a hand gun. Everyone else panicked and hid under their desks.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Cartman asked.

"We'll always talk about you, just put that thing away!" Token screamed.

Stan fired a single shot. The bullet hit nothing but plain wall; everyone was cowering under their desks and shaking.

"You're fucking wacko dude!" Kyle yelled.

Stan was laughing psychotically. "Not good enough." Stan fired a second shot, this time striking Kenny in the head. Blood splattered the wall and flooded the floor. The boy in the orange parka was dead.

Everyone was in disbelief, especially Kyle. "You…you…you killed Kenny. YOU BASTARD!"

Stan laughed sadistically and tried pulling the trigger again, but thankfully to everyone, he was out of ammo.

"Well that's stupid, only two rounds? Oh well, at least now everyone will talk about me forever." Stan walked out of the room.

"I can't believe he went that low," Craig wept.

After dismissal, the boys met up at Starks Pond.

"So, how are we going to stop Stan now?" Cartman asked. "He refused to fight me."

"Think we should take out the Coon and Friends?" Clyde asked.

"How the hell is that supposed to solve anything?" Craig replied.

"No, no, I think Clyde might be on to something. Think about it, we were able to accomplish a lot as The Coon and Friends. We beat that terrible monster, and now we can defeat this new monster that was our best friend," Kyle said.

"We're going to need Kenny. Where was he today?" Token asked.

"Probably was out 'sick'. That poor piece of crap," Cartman spat.

The boys dressed up as their superhero egos, even Cartman was allowed to once again be in the Coon and Friends, and Butters as Professor Chaos was now on their side. They went to Kenny's house; Mysterion was the most intimidating super hero of all. They all walked in and found Kenny lying in bed.

"Kenny, come on, we found out a new plan. We're going to team together as the Coon and Friends again and track Stan down and beat him once and for all!" Kyle said.

Kenny sat up. "Kyle, do you even know what happened today?"

"Yeah, Stan refused to another formal fight and had us do work that would serve his selfish needs."

"No, I mean what happened to me."

"You weren't in school today."

"No, Kyle, Stan shot me in the fucking head! I died in the middle of the room! You were there!"

"Kenny, stop talking crazy, just get your Mysterion costume on and come on. Tweek found out where Stan lives." Kyle and the rest of the Coon and Friends left.

"Shit." Kenny muffled.

Kenny, now dressed up as Mysterion, followed the rest of the boys to Stan's new house. Stan was home alone, with Sharon working an extra shift and Shelly over at a friend's house. Kyle Broflovski, aka The Human Kite, banged on the door. The door wasn't closed all the way, so it opened on its own. The boys made their way inside.

Stan walked into the living room from the kitchen.

"Kyle, do you really think you guys are a threat wearing those silly costumes?" Stan asked, laughing.

"It's over Stan." Kyle said.

Kenny, as Mysterion, walked forward. "Your asshole days are over."

Stan jumped back and fell back to the floor. As if he's seen a ghost.

"What are you doing?" Kyle asked.

"Kenny? How can you be standing there? I shot you, you died today. What the hell is going on?"

"What?" the Coon, aka Cartman, asked, confused.

"You…you remember me dying?" Kenny asked in disbelief.

* * *

><p>AN: I'm glad I was able to extend this chapter a little bit. I was expecting this one to be really short. The next one won't be very long either, and next chapter is the **LAST **chapter. I hope you're enjoying it. If you're wondering where Stan got the gun, I just assume it was a policy the school had, to have a gun in case of emergency. Also, you read that right folks, don't adjust your screens, Stan remembers Kenny dying. I will do my best to get the concluding chapter up on Saturday.


	6. Reset

**Chapter 6: Reset**

"How can you remember me dying?" Kenny asked.

"How can you be standing there? I shot you in the head, you died. I saw you lying on the floor, dead," Stan replied.

"What the hell are you guys talking about? Kenny obviously didn't die," Kyle said.

"I told you before, Kyle, I _can't _die," Kenny replied. "Stan did shoot me in the head and then was just resurrected like always. You guys always never notice, and now Stan does. How?"

"I don't know, all I did was shoot you," Stan answered.

"What was the last thing you remember before taking over the school?"

"Punching Kyle."

"Anything before that?"

"No, other than going to some doctor who helped me not see shit anymore. I drank some weird potion and then by the time I finished, I didn't see shit anymore."

"Something in there must make you remember about me dying."

"Yeah, and now you're back here. Just, just get out of here!" Stan ordered. None of the boys moved. "Are you people deaf? Get out of my house or I'll call the police."

Butters, as Professor Chaos, took a pair of scissors and cut the phone line.

"We're not leaving. You've been ducking all of us for the longest time," Kyle said.

Stan was backed up into a wall, completely surrounded.

"Just, just go away!" Stan cried. No one listened, instead took a step closer. Cartman, aka The Coon grabbed Stan and pushed him away. This turned out to work in Stan's favor as he ran up the stairs.

"You pushed him away from us? You dumbass!" Kenny yelled, couldn't believe Cartman's stupidity.

"I was trying to push him into the couch hard," Cartman whined.

"Forget that, let's get him," Craig said. Craig was never part of Coon and Friends so he had no costume.

"He ran into his room," Kyle said. Kyle led to the door and opened it. "Careful, he'll probably jump out of nowhere." Kyle tried going into the room, but the kite was preventing him from entering. "Fuck, I can't get through."

"God damn it, Kyle, just move out of the way! We'll get him," Cartman shouted.

"Where is he?" Craig asked.

"We're obviously looking for him, Craig! We don't know!"

"Well if it wasn't for you pushing him out of our surrounded circle, this would have never happened."

"Fuck you, Craig!"

"Guys, focus. We have to end it here," Kenny growled.

"I'll look under the bed," Clyde said. Clyde looked under the bed and surely enough, Stan was there, but with a knife in hand. When Clyde put his head on the floor, Stan took advantage and pinned Clyde's mosquito nose to the floor. "He's under here! He's under here! I can't move!"

Token went to help, but when Token got on the ground to help, Stan was there with a bottle of spray paint and spray Token's mask, blinding him.

"I can't see!" Token yelled. Token was running blind and ended up colliding with Butters and Craig, knocking all three against the dresser and knocking them out.

"I still can't get up!" Clyde cried.

Cartman rolled his eyes. "Clyde, you butthole." Cartman went under the bed to help Clyde, but was too fat to get under the bed. "Oh goddamn it. Now _I'm _stuck!" He took a quick look at Stan who was trying not to laugh. "Fuck you, Stan!"

Stan crawled out from his bed and looked at Kyle and Kenny.

"Well, I must say that was really pathetic. I can't believe I was cowering from you guys a few minutes ago," Stan laughed. Kenny didn't find it very funny and punched Stan in the jaw. "The hell Kenny?"

"You made us your slaves, you ruined the movies for us, you beat up Kyle, and you shot me. You're going to pay." Kenny replied.

"What? You? In case you don't want to look around, your team is beaten. It's just you and me now. And Kenny come on, you're nowhere near as strong as me. You're out of chances, now everyone is going to be talking about me. I outwitted all seven of you."

"So why don't you throw me away right now?"

Stan swung his left arm across Kenny's head. Was too hard of a swing for Kenny to even see coming and knocked him to the ground.

"Like that?" Stan smirked. He looked at Kyle, frustrated that he couldn't get in there. "That was fun, huh? Maybe the costumes weren't such a good idea." Stan laughed at Kyle, angering him even further.

Kyle kept trying to push himself into Stan's room, and eventually snapped a band from Kyle's outfit that projected into Stan's eyes. Stan cried in pain and covered his face. Kenny looked up and saw a TV set, about six feet from where Stan is standing. With Stan still rubbing his pain, Kenny stood up from behind Stan and shoved him into the box set.

Bursts of sparks came from the TV and Stan was shrieking in pain. Kyle and Kenny looked on surprised how big of an impact it made. After a few moments everything quieted down and Stan was lying motionless, with his head still stuck in the TV. Unknown to them, the way Stan hit his head against the TV, it wiped out the part of his brain that was making him an asshole for the last week and a half. At this time, Craig, Butters, and Token regained conscience. Token took his mask off.

"What happened in here?" Token asked.

"I don't know, it looked like…Kenny finished him off," Kyle replied.

"I didn't know we meant to kill him," Butters gasped.

"He didn't die, Butters. If he did, he would've crapped himself. He's just unconscious," Kyle said.

"Somebody, get me out of here," Cartman cried, still stuck in the bed.

At Hells Past Hospital, the boys were waiting for the doctor to get back with Stan's results. They were all back in their normal clothes. Soon, the doctor came out.

"So, do you know how he'll be?" Kyle asked.

"Your friend Stan is going to be fine. There's actually something I ask you boys. Stan has shown in his test a recent dramatic change in his brain. We saw a wipe out of assjerkchroms in his brain. They make someone into a total asshole, but he's shown to have been clear of it, and I got to ask, what did you do?"

"I shoved his head into a TV set," Kenny replied.

"I see, well your friend should be back in school with you guys tomorrow, please just give him some rest."

"Well, that's good. Now Stan will be back to normal, and we can all be friends again," Kyle said in joy.

"Thank God for that," Kenny replied.

As they left, Sharon came running into the hospital.

"Boys, do you know where Stan is? Is he okay?" Sharon asked.

"Yeah, Mrs. Marsh, he's fine. In fact, he's going to be back to normal now. He isn't going to be a jerk or be cynical anymore. He's going to be like he's been before all this ever happened," Kyle said.

"Really? Well, thanks for telling me, I'm happy to hear that," Sharon said, calming down. "Where is he?"

"Room 324," Butters answered.

"Thank you," Sharon replied, heading towards that room. The boys left the hospital, while Sharon entered her son's room. "Stan? Stanley, honey, are you okay?"

Stan lifted his head from his pillow. "Yeah, mom, I guess so. What happened?"

"I got a call from the hospital telling me you were here," Sharon replied.

"I feel lost. Like I have no idea what happened or what I was doing," Stan said. "It's just all a blur."

"Well, Stanley, since you're tenth birthday, you've been a bit of a downer, and then later became a jerk. Don't worry about it anymore, Kyle said you are completely okay now."

"Kyle? KYLE! I forgot. I was a total ass to him, to everybody. How am I supposed to face them now?"

"I wouldn't worry about it. They all seemed very relieved that you're fine."

"Really wow, thanks. I love you mom." Stan hugged Sharon.

"I love you too, sweetie." Sharon hugged her son back.

The next day at South Park Elementary all of the stuff Stan had at the school was gone. All the desks were back, everything was back to where it was and everything was back to normal. Kyle and Kenny were talking to one another when Stan came into the classroom and grabbed their attention.

"Hey, guys, can I talk to you for a moment?" Stan asked.

Kyle and Kenny shared a look and then back at Stan.

"Sure, dude," Kyle said.

All the other kids looked at him.

"I know I've been an ass the last couple of weeks, and I want to say I'm sorry. Like really, really sorry. I made you all do stupid work, I made you all made you worship me, I hurt a few of you and, yeah I don't know what else to say. I'm just really sorry. I just want things to go back to the way things were," Stan sighed.

"Thanks, we know you didn't know what you were doing and that you would be back to normal soon," Kyle replied. "And Stan, you really have done some awesome stuff."

"Hey, Stan, do you still remember killing me?" Kenny asked.

"Kill you? What are you talking about, Kenny? You're standing right in front of me," Stan said.

Kenny rolled his eyes. "Forget it." Stan shrugged.

"Do you think you'll get in trouble by the teachers for sending them to prison?" Kyle asked.

"Nah, I reported them anonymously," Stan replied.

"It's great to have you back, Stan," Butters said.

"Yeah," cheered the class.

"Thanks everyone. Hey, are the teachers even out yet?" Stan asked. No one answered and shrugged. "Then screw this, let's all go to the park!"

"Sweet," Cartman said.

Everyone cheered out of the school and had a day of fun at the park. It was Stan's first day of fun since turning ten. He was happy to be playing with his friends again and nothing that day was going to take the bright smile off his face.

* * *

><p>AN: Thank you to everyone who read this fan fic. I hope you can take a look at some of my other South Park stuff and one's in the future. Stan is my favorite character so he'll always have focus in my South Park fics. This fic was a whole lot of fun to write, and I want to thank you all again for reading. I can't wait until October 5th to see what direction South Park takes after the emotional "Your Getting Old" episode last June.


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